A song of my heart

     You hem me in- behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful to me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.- Psalm 139:5-10

Father, Your love overwhelms me

My heart feels like it will burst

I know I don't deserve it

But You loved me from the first

I can't keep it inside me

I want everyone to know

What it's like to walk beside You

To follow where You go

You fill me and lead me with Your Spirit

To a place of peace by Your side

Healing my hidden wounds and pain

That in shame I've kept inside

To think that a broken girl

Can be a daughter of the King

It fills me with wonder and awe

Being Your child changes everything...

Before, I was was dying of a thirst

That never seemed to be quenched

But You poured out Your living water on me

Now I dance with joy and my soul is drenched

Help me share You with those still lost out there

Wandering in that dry and weary land

So they may receive Your living water too

Please give them wisdom to understand

Give me the words to say to this hurting world

Because it's You that sets us free

It's You that removes our wretched, heavy chains

And opens our eyes to see

Your grace and mercy are for all of us

There isn't anything you won't forgive

When we invite You into our hearts and confess

It's in you that we can truly live

Father, You are glorious beyond compare

My unshackled feet dance for joy, light at last

I'm amazed that You love us just as we are

Nailed at the cross of calvary is our sinful past

Your presence overcomes me with Your glory

I can't help but lift my voice in praise to You

From the depth of my soul I cry out my passion

Because You are awesome, faithful, and true

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.- Psalm 139:17-18

Father, walk with us this day.  Guide our steps and fill our hearts to overflowing with Your love that we may share with others the joy we have in You.
In Jesus' name, amen.

If only life had a delete button!

 Like I shared in my post "What would your sign say?" God has been putting it on my heart lately to share with you more of my personal story.  If you read my blog, you know I'm a Christian, but what was I like before?  Well...not too good.  If you can imagine it, it's happened to me, or I've done it.  I'm not sure I'm ready to share the details, but any way you fill in the blanks, you'd probably be right.  The video does a good job of explaining what I felt like.

Sometimes I wish that there were an "delete" button for parts of my life.  Do you ever feel like that?  There are so many things I wish I wouldn't have done, and sometimes guilt and shame gnaw at my soul.  I especially regret all the years I wasted by choosing to do things that I knew were wrong, totally out of communication with the God I had known.  But wandering off the path is subtle; it only takes a few missteps  sometimes to completely lose one's way.   I think of those times as wandering the desert, dying of thirst, while God would have quenched my thirst if only I had turned to Him.

It was about five years ago when I got down on my knees and surrendered once and for all.  I told God that my life would be His and I would do whatever He called on me to do.  I cried out to Him for forgiveness and I know that He did and does, but I found that it's harder to forgive myself.

God's Word has been a healing balm for my soul.  He says in Romans 8:1-2: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

The price has been paid; it has been nailed to the cross.  Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.-Romans 5:1-2

If my great and holy God has mercy and forgiveness for me, then I must make amends where I can and accept the grace He freely offers.   Our enemy would love for us to keep seeing ourselves as the people we were before, because it takes away the joy of our salvation.  But we don't have to listen to him.  God says:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of son-ship.  And by him we cry, "Abba, Father.  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. - Romans 8:15-16

And Psalm 103:12:. ..as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Father, I thank You for Your love and forgiveness.  Only You can truly transform us in the new creations that we are when we turn our lives over to You.  I pray that You will touch each one reading this with Your love; that You would wrap Your arms around them and fill them with Your peace.
In Jesus name, Amen.

As always, I wish you blessings :)

What would your sign say?

As I watched this video and saw the different people holding up signs that described how they felt: "I don't matter," "regrets," "betrayed," my heart just broke for them.  What would your sign say?
This world beats us up, and in turn some of us beat ourselves up as well.  When we are told negative things we tend to believe them and view ourselves differently.
This is a matter very close to my heart because of the way I grew up.  If you can imagine it, it happened to me.  One of the reasons I haven't blogged this month is because God keeps telling me to share what He's done for me, but my story is a hard one to tell.
If I were holding a sign (as a child) it would say "stupid." Or "worthless."  "Never good enough."
As a teenager and young adult it would say "addict."  And "unlovable." "Lower than dirt." And most of all, "guilty." Ah....and "lonely."
It's true, I did some awful things.  In fact, I felt that I didn't deserve to be loved.  I physically hurt myself and even tried to end my life, several times.

BUT-  Then I met my Savior.

And like in the video, He calls me His beloved.  All the ugliness is gone; through the grace of Christ I am made clean.
-for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.  Romans 3:23-24
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!-2 Corinthians 5:17
It is a wonderful thing to be made new.  Through His love, I have found a way to heal, though it is an ongoing process.  Just think; all those awful things that no one knows....all the secrets...He knows and loves us anyway.  So who am I to question Him and not learn to love myself?  Our God and Father loves us immeasurably!  But we have an enemy who wants to steal us away through shame and doubt.  The best weapon is the Word and prayer.   Throughout the Bible we are reassured, and here are a just a few examples:

Jesus said in Matthew 10:30- And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

And:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18 (Paul is quoting from 2 Samuel.)
To all those who believe, God Himself is our Father! And He is a good, loving Father, for He is perfect and holy.  He created us, and He hears our cries.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.- Psalm 139:13-16

I sought the Lord, and He answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.- Psalm 34:4-5

I love the Lord, for He heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.
Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; 
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.  Then I called on the name of the Lord:
"O Lord save me!"
The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted; 
when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
Psalm 116:1-9

So today, what sign would I hold up?  Several!
Daughter of God
Redeemed
Loved
Blessed
I hope that these will be your signs as well.
Wishing you all blessings in Christ!

Merry Christmas!

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Emmanuel.-Isaiah 7:14  (Emmanuel means God with us.)
In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David.  The virgin's name was Mary.  The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."  Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.  But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.  You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.  The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.:"

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register.  So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and live of David.  He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son.  She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you; You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and laying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."-Luke 1:16-32

So rejoice, rejoice! Our Emmanuel has come! The child born of Mary grew up to be a king indeed, and his kingdom endures forever.  Through him we have peace and joy, no matter our circumstances, because he lives in our hearts in the form of the Holy Spirit.  Even today he gives sight to the blind, and heals our troubled souls.  Through his cleansing sacrifice we can stand clean and atoned before our great and holy Father who loves us beyond measure.

I want to wish each and every one of you a very, very Merry Christmas.  May the joy of our Father fill your heart, and I pray that he will bless you as always.  :)

All the little things

For some time now, I've been feeling a little discouraged.  I'm not a woman of money; it seems that all I have to give are little things.

Like last Sunday after church;  I was walking to my car when I saw a familiar looking young homeless man.
He started into his spiel: "ma'am do you have any change...." when he suddenly smiled and said, "Hey! I know you. You help me out at Fast Trip all the time."  (I do stop there just about every day.)
So I introduced myself, and asked his name.  "Nick," I said, "I have just a little bit of change. But can I pray for you?"  When he agreed, I asked him what he needed prayer for.  "My health," he said, and so I took his hand, which was very swollen.  I prayed that God would grant him health, protect him, and draw him close and hold him. I gave him all the change I had and when his eyes met mine, I saw tears in his.
To him, I think it was a big thing.

I just so badly want to serve my Savior!

Well.  These past two Sundays my pastor has been preaching about these little things.  God sees them.
They matter.

What may seem like a small thing to us might be a big thing to someone else.

A little thing can change a life.

My mother told me this story:

She has an acquaintance who was in difficult circumstances.  This woman was extremely angry at my mom's church for something that had happened twenty years ago. My mom got the idea to give her a prayer shawl.
This is a shawl that's prayed over toward the one who will receive it with every stitch that creates it.  So when it was finished, she took it to her......and it touched the woman deeply.  My mom talked to her about how sorry she was about what had happened and that she hoped this would be a step toward forgiveness.
In fact, it turned out that her father had stipulated in his will that $25,0000. be donated from his estate to the church and this woman was going to fight the bequest.
But the prayer shawl softened this woman's heart.  My mother has been part of a ministry (through the church the woman was angry at) that builds houses in Mexico for many years.  Imagine the shock and amazement when the Mexico house building ministry received the check with a letter stating why they were receiving it.

Way to go, Mom.  Now that's listening to the Holy Spirit and being obedient.

Father, some of these little things only you see.  Help us to keep doing them simply to bring honor to where it belongs- to You.  Please put people in all of our paths that we might do some small act of good that reflects back to you.

Wishing you all blessings!

A Lost Sheep Around His Shoulders

Ever stumble and fall flat on your face?  Does it sometimes seem like everything that can go wrong does?  It happens to us all sometimes.  The danger comes when the enemy whispers in your ear, "Now you've blown it...God surely won't forgive you this time....you may as well give up."  Or, "When you became a Christian, life was supposed to be a breeze.  But everything seems to be going wrong instead.  Better to try something else to make life better..."
But we know from God's word that those are lies.  Throughout the Old Testament, Israel walked away from God many, many times, but every time they repented they were forgiven.  God's nature is unchangable.  He's the same today as yesterday and will be tomorrow.  And hard times? We're going to have them.  But God doesn't cause the trouble.  He's the one who helps us through it.  Jesus said it well: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."- John 17:33 (emphasis mine)
So if trouble in this life is to be expected, how do we get through it?  Today in church my Pastor gave us four ideas:
1. Don't walk away from God when things get tough. Persevere.  Lean into him instead of away.
2. Don't put your securities into this life.  Build up instead your treasure in heaven for where your treasure is, there is where your heart will be.
3. Respond to suffering in this life with praise and thanksgiving.  WHAT?!
 No matter what trial you're going through you can praise God for something.  I praise him for forgiving me no matter how many times I fall.  I praise him because no matter how much pain I have now, in heaven I'll be given a perfect body that will never experience pain again.  I praise God for loving me though I don't deserve it.  I praise God that he's promised that I'll have an eternal life that will be beyond imagination.
Kinda like that!
4. Recognize where your life is off kilter with God and repent of it, if that's the problem.
Peace comes from our relationship with God despite our circumstances.  I've learned a lot about that lately; check out some of my past posts.  Several times over the past year I've come very close to losing a friend that I love dearly, but I can say that out of these trials I know that I'm closer to God because of it.  It's been an agonizing time for me, but God truly carried me through it.  Perseverance has made me stronger.

If the trouble comes as a consequence of wrongdoing, just get up, dust yourself off, and tell him you're sorry.  He created us; he knows we're not perfect and loves us anyway.  Remember the story of the lost sheep? Jesus told it this way:
"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.  Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."- Luke 15:4-7

In our Christian walk it's important to examine our hearts and keep them right with God.  It's so easy to go astray and wander off like a lost sheep.  But how wonderful to know that he will put us around his shoulders, carry us home and rejoice!  It's an honor to serve a faithful and loving Father.
May our lives be pleasing to him, may we keep the faith through the storms of this life, and rest in the arms of  the one who holds the universe in his hands.

Wishing you blessings as always, and-
many thanks to my Pastor who was the inspiration for this post.
I hope you like the little fishes!