Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A song of my heart

     You hem me in- behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful to me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.- Psalm 139:5-10

Father, Your love overwhelms me
My heart feels like it will burst
I know I don't deserve it
But You loved me from the first

I can't keep it inside me
I want everyone to know
What it's like to walk beside You
To follow where You go

You fill me and lead me with Your Spirit
To a place of peace by Your side
Healing my hidden wounds and pain
That in shame I've kept inside

To think that a broken girl
Can be a daughter of the King
It fills me with wonder and awe
Being Your child changes everything...

Before, I was was dying of a thirst
That never seemed to be quenched
But You poured out Your living water on me
Now I dance with joy and my soul is drenched

Help me share You with those still lost out there
Wandering in that dry and weary land
So they may receive Your living water too
Please give them wisdom to understand

Give me the words to say to this hurting world
Because it's You that sets us free
It's You that removes our wretched, heavy chains
And opens our eyes to see

Your grace and mercy are for all of us
There isn't anything you won't forgive
When we invite You into our hearts and confess
It's in you that we can truly live

Father, You are glorious beyond compare
My unshackled feet dance for joy, light at last
I'm amazed that You love us just as we are
Nailed at the cross of calvary is our sinful past

Your presence overcomes me with Your glory
I can't help but lift my voice in praise to You
From the depth of my soul I cry out my passion
Because You are awesome, faithful, and true

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.- Psalm 139:17-18

Father, walk with us this day.  Guide our steps and fill our hearts to overflowing with Your love that we may share with others the joy we have in You.
In Jesus' name, amen.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The end of a season

Well, it's been a little bit since I've written anything...I got hit by an emotional curve ball that I truly wasn't expecting and have needed to work through it in my mind.

So what happened?  The last of my four children moved out, my 22 year old daughter.  She has a good job and has been looking for the right apartment for some time.  I've been really excited for her! So why did I fall apart when she left?  I really didn't expect to feel sad at all...but I was heartbroken.

I guess it's because a phase of my life is now truly over.  I liked having four kids; when they were young the house was always full with them and their friends, running amuck and staying the night on weekends.  We went to the river, camping in the mountains, and so much more.  I have so many memories that I cherish.  But like a lot of parents, I wish I'd done some things differently.  I especially wish that I'd walked with the Lord the whole time I was raising them.  I was faithful when they were young but after my divorce I drifted away.  The church we'd loved so much moved to the other side of town and they actually made a rule that children had to go to children's church.  At the time I was working two jobs and I treasured every minute with them.  They were well behaved and not disruptive.  I should have sought out another church, but I just stopped going.  Oh, I regret that.

But that season of my life is over, and the next one beginning. When school lets out for the summer my eldest granddaughter who is seven, will be coming to stay with me for the summer.  I can't wait!  As the others get older I look forward to having them come too.

But you know what will never change again?

My love and commitment to my Lord and Savior.  At times like this I have Him to cling to.  He is my rock.  When I'm afraid, when I'm sad, when I'm feeling lost, He is always there.  As I've cried, I've felt His loving arms around me.  His love and compassion is priceless.

One thing I'll never be is alone.

Father, I thank you for blessing me with the children you gave me.  Help me to be the mother that they need me to be, and let my life reflect Your perfect love.  Please give me the strength and wisdom that they need to see and hear.  Thank you for always being there for me and for all Your children.  
In Jesus' name, amen.