Sometimes I wish that there were an "delete" button for parts of my life. Do you ever feel like that? There are so many things I wish I wouldn't have done, and sometimes guilt and shame gnaw at my soul. I especially regret all the years I wasted by choosing to do things that I knew were wrong, totally out of communication with the God I had known. But wandering off the path is subtle; it only takes a few missteps sometimes to completely lose one's way. I think of those times as wandering the desert, dying of thirst, while God would have quenched my thirst if only I had turned to Him.
It was about five years ago when I got down on my knees and surrendered once and for all. I told God that my life would be His and I would do whatever He called on me to do. I cried out to Him for forgiveness and I know that He did and does, but I found that it's harder to forgive myself.
God's Word has been a healing balm for my soul. He says in Romans 8:1-2: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
If my great and holy God has mercy and forgiveness for me, then I must make amends where I can and accept the grace He freely offers. Our enemy would love for us to keep seeing ourselves as the people we were before, because it takes away the joy of our salvation. But we don't have to listen to him. God says:
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of son-ship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. - Romans 8:15-16
Father, I thank You for Your love and forgiveness. Only You can truly transform us in the new creations that we are when we turn our lives over to You. I pray that You will touch each one reading this with Your love; that You would wrap Your arms around them and fill them with Your peace.
In Jesus name, Amen.
As always, I wish you blessings :)